Personally, I'm beyond excited that 2012 is over and a fresh starts awaits me with 2013.  This year is going to be the year of adventures!  I want to get out of my comfort zone and try new things, explore new places, and push myself to learn and grow.  Here is to the new year and new beginnings.

 

The year has been slipping past me faster then I like.  How the hell is it already September!!!! I guess times flies when you are having fun.  

The photos above were from my first trip to Baker Beach.  I'm ashamed to admit that I have lived in the city for nearly five years and this was my first trip out there. 

Below are a few snapshots I took while spending three days on Catalina for my best friend's bachelorette party.  I have many many photos from the trip, none of which are suitable to share on the blog:)

 

Mission Pie photo take with iPhone VSCO app

At the beginning of the year I wrote a post about courage, and my goal of not letting fear control my life.  I wrote the post knowing, deep in my heart, that I needed to make a major life change, and that change was to end my four and a half year relationship.  At the beginning of May I did just that.

So here I am, embarking on a new journey.  I've moved into a new apartment located right next to Gold Gate Park (get ready for lots and lots of park pictures) and I'm slowing finding my way as a newly single woman in the city.

At times, I must admit, I am nervous about being alone and starting over, but those moments are few and far between and more often then not I look forward to all the awaits me.  A huge weight has been lifted off my chest and for the first time in over a year I am truly happy.

February what a month you have been and you are not even over yet.

Highlights include:

The best Valentines Day EVER! Brandon and I have never been big on celebrating Valentines Day, so it came as a complete surprise when I came home the other day to find him in the kitchen cooking dinner.
Spending the weekend in Sacramento helping my best friend plan her wedding.
Exploring new areas of San Francisco, especially random trails to hike and make me feel as though I have left the city.
Reading and loving The Marriage Plot.
A new to me phone (thanks Liz)!!!
Walking home from work... the best way to clear my head after a daunting day.

Less exciting parts of my life:
Feeling very lonely and longing to be closer to support system  (family and friends).
Too exhausted to do anything creative...cameras and blog are getting very dusty.
Lack of motivation.  I would love to spend more time doing things I love (hiking, cooking, reading, etc) but I just don't have the drive to do anything. I think this is a sign that I need a vacation.

Fear

2011 has come to an end and 2012 is here and filled with possibilities.  For me a year ends and begins with a lot of self reflection, and it was during one of those moments that I became aware that I live in fear and am filled self doubt.  I fear pursuing my dreams, I fear stepping out of my comfort zone, and most of all I fear that I will be a complete failure at anything I try.  These thoughts are not uncommon but it wasn't until the other day that I realized how much I am missing out because of my fears.

So I made a decision, this year will be about the courage and strength to overcome my fears.  It will not be an easy task, and I'm not sure where I'll start, all I know is that I'm up for the challenge.

Side note: This is not a typical post that one would usually find on my blog.  In the past I've been scared to get personal (fear that people would not be interested in what I have to say) but today I said fuck it and wrote and shared it anyway. 

Lately

I haven't picked up a camera in weeks, which is a shame since I just added a new one to my collection, I can't finish a book, I've been eating like crap, and I haven't worked out in weeks.  In other words I'm in a major funk.

So what have I been doing?  Well since you've asked...nothing.  That is unless you count watching countless hours of crappy television and drinking too much wine something.  This funk needs to end soon or else I might lose my mind and/or gain way too much weight.  Perhaps it's time for a body detox and some new music to lift my spirits.  Any suggestions on how to get out of a funk?

Thanks Mom and Dad for...showing us around North Carolina, spoiling us with hockey tickets, cooking and buying us amazing food, for your daily trips to Starbucks/Dukkin' Donuts, doing our laundry, and of course for my new iPad.  I miss you already.

Have you ever experinced a moment where a million and two thoughts rush into your head at once which results in you becoming so overwhelmed that all you want to do is crawl into the fetal position and stay in bed? Yes, well so have I, in fact I have been having one of those "moments" for the past two months.  So this week my plan is to: take it easy, drink wine, sleep in, and read a good book.  Hope everyone has a fantastic week!

A new place to rest my feet

Two week ago we moved into a wonderful new apartment .  It is a spacious studio located in Duboce Triangle (a small little neighborhood which is located next the Mission, Hayes Valley, and Castro District).  Our new place has a large living/sleeping area with a bay window which overlooks an adorable garden. The kitchen contains all new appliances and is large enough to house a table that seats eight with room to spare. Off the kitchen is an office which houses all of our games, cameras, and computers (for some reason we have three computers).  Windows grace every wall allowing light to flow through out our space throughout the day.  My closet is huge, the carpets are new, and the ceilings are high.  The best part is it is just the two of us.  

After nearly a year of wasting money and spending far too many hours on the couch we have finally gotten around to canceling our cable.  It is a bittersweet experience, because like so many others, I am addicted to TV.  There is comfort  to be found in coming home from a long day at work, sitting on the couch, and getting lost in a mindless show. The hardest part is knowing that the new season of True Blood is around the corner I won't be able to to watch it.

The question now is what to do with all my free time?  

Lately

2011 has already been a trying year.  Work has been hectic and unrewarding, home life has been trying, to do list never seems to end, bank account is dwindling, workout dvd's are collecting dust, camera has gone unused, and worst of all we said a final farewell to a family member.

With all that being said I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and little by little my attitude is changing.  So even the though the year has had a rocking start I have faith that it will get better.

San Francisco was graced with an unseasonably warm weekend; cherry blossoms everywhere 

I miss you already

I have made no secret of the fact that I really dislike Monday's.  Work is daunting and consumes too much of my time during the week so this weekend I made it a point to get out and have a wonderful work-free time.

From the last row of Castro Theater

Friday night I had a scrumptious dinner at Starbelly followed by a double feature of High Wall and Stranger on the Third Floor at opening night of Noir City movie festival.  The 10 day movie festival is taking place at the gorgeous Castro Theater and if you are in, or close to, San Francisco I highly recommend going.

Saturday I woke up and ,being the nerd that I am, rushed accross the street to the library to get a new book, Abraham Linclon: Vampire Hunter.  It was love from the moment I cracked the spin.   I sat on my sunny stoop for hours reading and drinking coffee with the occasional pause to people watch.

In the late afternoon I played the role of supportive girlfriend and went shopping with Brandon.  In all my years of being a shopaholic I have never once spent more then one hour in a single store.  Brandon on the other hand is quite the opposite of me and we ending up spending 1.5 hours in Levis alone.   By the end of the day Brandon's hands were filled with bags of new clothing while all I had was an empty stomach.

Sunday was another unseasonably warm day in the city so I set out to take pictures of the murals in Lower Haight (I will post pictures later this week) before I wasted the rest of the day in front of the TV watching football and drinking beer.

All in all it was a wonderful weekend and I have my fingers crossed that next weekend will be even better.

Puppies

Spending the holiday in North Carolina was wonderful, and although I had an amazing time with my family the best part of the trip was seeing the puppies.   I will go into more details about my time in NC after the new year, in the meantime enjoy the pics of Ruby, CoCo Puff, and Hawkeye.

All I want for Christmas...

For the first time in two years I will be spending a holiday with my family in North Carolina.  Living across the country from my parents, whom I am extremely close with, is trying on the best of days and almost unbearable during the holiday season, so I am beyond excited that this year we will be together. In anticipation of the upcoming trip I thought I would share the top things I am looking forward to the most.

10.) Spending time in a new city.

9.) Baking Christmas cookies.

8.) Staying in a quite suburban neighborhood.  Don't get me wrong I love where I live but it will be a nice change to have deers outside my window rather then drunks.

7.) Taking a long relaxing bath (I would never attempt to do this at my current home).

6.) Sharing some beers with my dad.

5.) Tea with mom.

4.) A roommate free environment and four blissful days with my own bathroom.  

3.) Free home cooked meals (my mom can throw down in the kitchen).

2.) Spending quality time with the three pups: Ruby, CoCo Puff, and Hawkeye.

1.) And last but not least I am looking forward to hugging my parents.  Skype is a wonderful tool to keep in touch but nothing beats the real thing.

What do you do?

The other day I had the ENTIRE house to myself and what a delight it was.  I took advantage of this rare occasion and engaged in all my secret behaviors (behaviors/habits that I would be to embarrassed to do in front of another person).  We all have (or at least I think we do) secret behaviors or habits that we do when we are alone.  I for one....

1.) Dance around my room like a woman possessed.

2.) Talk to myself.

3.) Walk on my tip toes (I have no idea why I do this).

4.) Watch BAD reality TV.

5.) Take self portraits and then promptly delete them.

6.)  Cry.  Admittedly I horrible at dealing with stress and expressing myself.  So sometimes I just  cry to let out all the frustrations/worries/etc that have built up overtime. 

7.)  Bump Madonna and sing along at the top of my lungs.

8.) Walk around naked.

What do you do when no one else is watching?

The day I sort of remember meeting my boyfriend

Three years ago today I left Sacramento early in the morning for quick overnight trip to San Francisco to help my best friend celebrate her birthday.  With a few essentials in hand I hit the road and two hours later I walked up to my best friends house ready to get the festivities started.  

We started at Lime where the food is delicious and the mimosas are bottomless.  It will come as no surprise that I took full advantage of the bottomless mimosas and even threw in a few bloody mary’s for good measure.  Eventually a few of us headed over to a bar close by to play flip cup and then to a friends house where I promptly passed out and took a much needed nap. All the while forgetting that I had made additional plans to meet up with yet another group of friends who lived in the city during my mini trip.

At 6 o’clock my phone rang and my friends (who I forgot I was surpassed to meet up with) were asking me where I was.  Still buzzed I answered that I was on a couch somewhere in San Francisco (at this point in time I knew NOTHING of San Francisco and had no idea how far I was from my friends house).   After a few back and fourths between my friends and the people at the apartment I figured out that I the only way I was making it to my friends place was via cab, so off I went.

Turns out while I was asleep it had started raining, so for 30mins I stood outside in the rain trying to hail a cab.  Soaking, lost, and still a little buzzed I started crying on some random corner in San Francisco fearing that I would never make it to my friends house; fortunately I managed to hail a cab and successfully made it my friends house (YAY).

I walked into their apartment looking like a hot mess; dripping wet, hair all over the place, and mascara running down my face.  I demanded that my friend Siobhan “make me pretty” and completely ignored the fact that there was some random guy sitting on the couch.  After drinking some water, eating, and having my makeup reapplied I started to feel like a human again and was formally introduced to the random guy...Brandon.

Yadda yadda yadda Brandon and I started to talk, he in turn told my friend that I was cute (she even caught him checking out my butt) and at the end of the night I gave him my number, or at least I thought I gave him my number.  Turns out I gave him the wrong one :(  Thankfully my friends gave him the correct number the following day and he sent me the following text message:  “What does it take for a guy like me to get a girl like you back in the city?”  My heart melted and I went to see him the following weekend. Fast forward three years and I now live with with that random guy and my heart still melts when he sends me text messages.